I've been waiting to hear what Idol winner Kris Allen's debut single would be...well it's out so take a listen and enjoy.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
In honor of the new season...
And of course I mean the football season. Can't you smell pigskin in the air? Trust me there is no escaping its return in my household. I received this and was compelled to share it.
Women's Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.
Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani
SOUTH: Archie, Peyton & Eli Manning
Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus, make a large financial contribution and put name on a waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never Broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance from the Dave Matthews Band,... who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it is the state's
third largest city.
Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.
When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH : Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
The Smell in the Air after the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.
Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dangit, you slow idiot - tackle him and break his legs."
Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dangit, you slow idiot - tackle him and break his legs."
Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, and planning begins for next week's game.
The essence of Southern football is impossible to duplicate!
College Football Time... The difference between Northern and Southern Football
Planning for the fall football season in the South is radically different than up North. For those who are planning a football trip South, here are some helpful hints.Women's Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.
Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani
SOUTH: Archie, Peyton & Eli Manning
Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus, make a large financial contribution and put name on a waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never Broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance from the Dave Matthews Band,... who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it is the state's
third largest city.
Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.
When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH : Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
The Smell in the Air after the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.
Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dangit, you slow idiot - tackle him and break his legs."
Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dangit, you slow idiot - tackle him and break his legs."
Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, and planning begins for next week's game.
The essence of Southern football is impossible to duplicate!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Definition of a Writer
The other day I went with a girlfriend of mine to see the movie "Julie & Julia" based on the book by Julie Powell. Yes I'm guilty of seeing a movie prior to partaking in the movie's foundational page-flipping source. Yes, avid readers I am aware of the travesty. Books are in many cases superior to their movie prototypes and should always be enjoyed before running to the theater and purchasing an ever increasing priced ticket stub. It's like visiting the Grand Canyon, but instead of actually stopping to take in its beauty and magnitude with my own eyes, I ran straight into the gift shop and purchased a postcard of the canyon.
But in my defense, I declare this: I enjoyed the "postcard" I purchased and you'll just have to accept my moment of literary rebellion. Deal with it :)
Anyway, as I watched the pleasurably cute story of how one life deeply influenced the life of another, I found myself very caught up in both ladies' desire to be published- each for their own differentiating yet similar reasons. Yes I know, shocker, me caught up in a story line about people getting published. I know I'm a glutton for punishment by imagining the unrealistic (what proper writer doesn't imagine the unrealistic?) Sorry tangent...
But there was one line in particular I found grating at the very essence of my being. At one point the character Julie states (in its essence) that "you're not a writer until you're published." Wait! Stop the film. My instincts instantly triggered in alarm. That's not true. I'm a writer and I'm not published. How dare they market such rubbish to an unassuming audience.
Now at this point my enjoyment for the movie continued, but I wanted to see if they would correct such a tragic blunder. The movie progressed and I enjoyed the antics and sympathized with the characters as they sacrificed their lives (in practically every way) to reach the audience to whom they wrote and nurture the project they loved.
In the end both characters found satisfaction and a sense of personal achievement- each eventually finding themselves published. I think in many ways their stories ring true in the pursuit to be came an "Author" - sacrifice, lots of hard work, more sacrifice, lots of rewriting, rejection by peers and people you don't know (and might never care to know), more rewriting, hard work again, did I mentioned rewriting and I think you get my drift. But even though I felt my $7.25 was well spent, I still felt the story lacked a clarified truth about being a writer.
One does not become a writer, cook, actor, painter, etc only once you've been "discovered." By all means no! No I say! Do you hear me? As my writing journey approaches its 2nd unofficial year, if I had to start over with only one morsel of truth it would be this: Abby you are a writer because you write and because you love to write.
Yes, that's it. It may seem simple but its the truth. I've been swept off my feet by the waves of pursuit compelling me to write something even better than the day before. I can promise you I'm far from being good at my craft, but here's the cool part - I know I can only improve the more I dedicate to it. It will be a life long learning experience like anything else we experience. Some people have strong natural affinities to do certain things, but if the heart beats strongly for those pursuing something they love then they are just as much a "insert title" as the other person. My title is Writer.
So write on Writers...your day of fame may never come but never doubt who you are. A Writer with a capital W.
But in my defense, I declare this: I enjoyed the "postcard" I purchased and you'll just have to accept my moment of literary rebellion. Deal with it :)
Anyway, as I watched the pleasurably cute story of how one life deeply influenced the life of another, I found myself very caught up in both ladies' desire to be published- each for their own differentiating yet similar reasons. Yes I know, shocker, me caught up in a story line about people getting published. I know I'm a glutton for punishment by imagining the unrealistic (what proper writer doesn't imagine the unrealistic?) Sorry tangent...
But there was one line in particular I found grating at the very essence of my being. At one point the character Julie states (in its essence) that "you're not a writer until you're published." Wait! Stop the film. My instincts instantly triggered in alarm. That's not true. I'm a writer and I'm not published. How dare they market such rubbish to an unassuming audience.
Now at this point my enjoyment for the movie continued, but I wanted to see if they would correct such a tragic blunder. The movie progressed and I enjoyed the antics and sympathized with the characters as they sacrificed their lives (in practically every way) to reach the audience to whom they wrote and nurture the project they loved.
In the end both characters found satisfaction and a sense of personal achievement- each eventually finding themselves published. I think in many ways their stories ring true in the pursuit to be came an "Author" - sacrifice, lots of hard work, more sacrifice, lots of rewriting, rejection by peers and people you don't know (and might never care to know), more rewriting, hard work again, did I mentioned rewriting and I think you get my drift. But even though I felt my $7.25 was well spent, I still felt the story lacked a clarified truth about being a writer.
One does not become a writer, cook, actor, painter, etc only once you've been "discovered." By all means no! No I say! Do you hear me? As my writing journey approaches its 2nd unofficial year, if I had to start over with only one morsel of truth it would be this: Abby you are a writer because you write and because you love to write.
Yes, that's it. It may seem simple but its the truth. I've been swept off my feet by the waves of pursuit compelling me to write something even better than the day before. I can promise you I'm far from being good at my craft, but here's the cool part - I know I can only improve the more I dedicate to it. It will be a life long learning experience like anything else we experience. Some people have strong natural affinities to do certain things, but if the heart beats strongly for those pursuing something they love then they are just as much a "insert title" as the other person. My title is Writer.
So write on Writers...your day of fame may never come but never doubt who you are. A Writer with a capital W.
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