Nearly a year...

And what a year has occurred. I can honestly say I've experienced more change smooshed in the last 12 months than ever before. Moving, family loss, job changes, culture changes, homeownership...ahhhhh! A girl can only take so much.

And yet I know there is more. More of what...well I don't know. Good, bad, ugly, splendid, it could be any combination and yet when it's broken down it doesn't matter. Now I don't mean that to come off negative, just real. Real because life incorporates all of it. I'm not trying to sound existential but as I sit, waiting for the next step to reveal itself I realize just how small I am. And unlike many who might revolt against the idea of accepting my minimalism, I'm quite happy with it. Why? Simple. What happens to me is only part of an even bigger picture.

Bigger picture...yet another broad term. Many have debated what the bigger picture might mean, and unfortunately adhere to a very subjective view of what that means. As for me, change has brought me closer to truth. Truth in the one thing that has sustained me through all the change, tears, frustration, etc. Truth in the one thing that doesn't change no matter how much change I see because I'm only a piece of a puzzle. A piece that hopefully demonstrates whom I belong to and how my life is hopefully a demonstration of the truth bigger than anything I could ever achieve on my own. And who could honestly complain about that?

And for those who, with great determination, continue to check this blog I won't promise consistency in my posts but quality of posts I will always try to deliver! Thanks for reading! Let's see what another year yields...

Counting...

Today I am older. Yeah, I'm older every day, but it's officially documented today on the record books. I have successfully added another coal to my fire of life, and I have once again reached the #-0 marker (I'll let you figure out what number that is as a lady never reveals her age ;)

In my attempt to be introspective, this little post will catch a few of my mental blurbs about today...
1) A year ago today it was snowing! Yes snowing on the day following the first day of spring. Today, however, I am pleased to find the norm has returned to warmth and possibly some spring rain- which I adore!
2) Tulips are blooming- yay!
3) I've already experienced bliss in the simple form of Thin Mints, and I'd like to make a notion to add a Girl Scout calendar year, beginning when the first box is delivered and consumed in guiltless delight.
4) I think the reality of the added year will hit me when I fill out a questionnaire that includes checking an age box and find myself checking a different bracket...yikes!
5) One of my coworkers told me #-0 is the new 18. I agree...of course I will probably also agree when I hit my next decade too.
6) Ten years ago I wouldn't have placed myself here. But that's not to downplay any of what has happened in the last ten years. Gosh, ten years time has yielded a graduation, my first official leap into the "real world", my first full time job (currently working at #3), two engagements-and every relationship in between those, marriage to a wonderful man who has kept his promise that I will never be bored, my first trek over international waters, the loss of my first grandparent, the loss of my most beloved pet, family health scares which have furthered our faith and love, friends getting married and having babies, and of course the beginning of my writing journey. And those are just the most prominent moments coming to mind.
7) My metabolism decided it was time to slow down about three years ago...I will remain bitter that it never thought to ask my opinion on the matter.
8) The number of grey hairs (aka wisdom steaks) on my head, if all gathered together, could successfully create a proper come-over for a balding man. But until it reaches enough to create a toupee, I'll refuse to dye them.
9) I'm still a t-shirt and jeans kind of gal...external age will only aid to rally the youth inside!
10) And finally I pray that the next #0 years will trump the first #0 in the things I learn, the people I love, the wisdom I grasp, and the lives impacted by the way I live my own.

And with that I will hit "publish post" and wish everyone a Happy Abby's Birthday!

A Book in Eternal Progress...

For the few who might chance to read this blog every now and then, I am updating you on the latest of my novel adventures. Nearly three and a half years after beginning my first writing project I find myself, once again, in a place of reverie. You see I have once again come to a place where "I think" I have finished the latest and greatest installment of the never-ending-book-revision.

Now to the finality of this revision, I guess it will all depend on it's ability to catch some agent's eye and return a response such as "Wonderful!...Unputdownable...I'm getting this straight to an acquisition agent...Your characters, your plot, your writing voice, Bravo!" and so forth. So in my own attempts to make my page-people come to life over the last three years, I hope they have reached a level where their resume will be considered. A place where their literary maturity is worth consideration to be swept up in the world of publishing. Now of course I plan to accompany them wherever their journey may lead, but I won't lie and tell you that I'm partial to visiting, oh I don't know, New York or London if I had my druthers.

That's all for now...stay tuned for, heck, I don't know what installment will come next but you can bet something is a com'n!

Note to Self:

Hello? Self? Are you there?

Hi Self. Of Course I am here.

Where have you been?

Where you have been, of course. Isn't that kind of obvious.

I know but you haven't written me in a while and I was beginning to worry.

Well you know we've been busy.

Yes, I know. But why haven't you written me.

I...uh...I'm not sure. I just haven't.

Don't you like to share things anymore.

Yes, but I'm selective.

What like country club selective?

No, more like bakery selective. So much to choose from and often too much to choose, so you walk out in fear of buying too much or you splurge and then later have to buy bigger jeans. It seems I've been walking out of the store, yet my jeans would say different.

Yes, they were tighter this morning when you put them on.

Back to the point, please.

Sorry Self. It's just a new year and I thought I'd remind you of your indulgent online diary. How do you expect people to read about your writing if you aren't actually writing.

You might have a point.

You know I do.

Yes, but I don't have to admit it.

Not to others, but I'm you, you already have and you know I'm right.

Yes, you usually are right.

I know, but it's a responsibility I must bear. And that is why I got your attention. To deny me such intrigues as these is a crime.

Well, at least I know I can entertain myself.

Yes, it's a start but try not to get too caught up only in that. Blogger hermithood is not the most conducive to building a following.

I submit. So Self what would you have me do?

Just write. Most of the time it's to me anyway so journal, diary, chronicle...do whatever it takes and write.

And if I don't?

Then you will be hearing again from me sooner than anyone who just read this post would like. Don't put them through another blog like this. Besides that could lead to something else entirely as talking to yourself is not often characterized as functional, and you do have a book you want to sell.

Ah yes, true. Thanks Self.

You are welcome. And by the way I love the new background.

Why thank you Self. It's very English chic.

Thanks Self, that's exactly what I thought :)

Memories that Make You Paws...

Yes, the pun is intended with gusto. Today marks a week since I had to say goodbye to a most beloved companion, my sweet dog Joshua. In his ripe age of nearly 19 (which he would have turned in November), his body was failing him and we knew it was time. I believe 100% he knew it was time too. So, I wanted to take just a few moments to remember him, as a great dog, who shared 2/3 of my life, deserves.

Joshua, also known as Joshers, Joshman, puppy and many more, can't be captured fully in a few short paragraphs. His temperament was equally loving as it was stubborn, and he certainly preferred to be the center of attention. He was another family member, only hairier and with a tail. I can't say he was much shorter than I was, and like the old adage says "Owners look like their pets," Josh and I certainly did, down to the curly hair and our funny struts. Josh was a sibling of three, so am I. He was the runt, and considering I have two brothers who are now stronger and taller than me, I guess I'm kind of the runt too.

There are a thousand memories flooding my mind as I think of him. He was my crying buddy when things went wrong. He made me laugh and was great at giving doggy kisses. He helped me learn responsibility and how to clean up messes, which I know will come in handy when I have kids :) He was a great listener- all loyal dogs are. He was my buddy, my baby, my friend. His tail always wagged and his butt always wiggled when I came home to visit after "growing up." I hated leaving him when college hit, but I think he understood- for that I'm thankful.

He was forgiving when I hurt him, and patient when I didn't speak dog. I loved the way, after a bath, he would rub his nose and face all over the carpet in my dad's office. He had the puppy-dog-look down pat and could usually brown-eye his way into persuading you to spoil him. When my mom cooked dinner and beef was involved, he made sure to partake in taste testing it first. He was never much for walking, and whenever we did as soon as we lapped back and came to our street he would full sprint back home. Again just like me he was a homebody. Whenever people hugged, he would jump up and down until someone picked him up and hugged him too. He protected us and barked like a big dog when he sensed something was wrong. He hated the rain (unlike me), but only because he'd have to get wet to go out. He wasn't a big fan of snow either, for the same reason.

He loved our family, that's an understatement. My older brother holding a special place in his heart as the giver of dinner scraps. And he inspired my youngest brother in many creative cartoon drawings. He knew my Dad was the alpha dog, and gave him the throne (most of the time). And mom, he followed her many days like a shadow, sitting beneath or beside her as she read or worked at her desk.

19 years is hard to capture on a blog. I've already written more than I expected, but am not surprised. When you have experienced so much joy for so many years, it's hard not to share it all. But with that I will conclude my tribute to my sweet baby puppy- for he will always be a puppy in my eyes. Thank you Josh for the years you chose to live with us. It is true- he picked us from when he was a puppy- following me around at the breeder's house before we even took him home. Josh your life and impact on mine will never be forgotten. And for that I can say I am blessed, I will miss you, always love you and in your memory I take a moment to paws...

Joshua Wiggles Waite
November 12, 1991- August 25, 2010